PART 1
Lao Tzu once said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” It is also said that life is not about the destination but the journey. But how does one go on a journey if one does not know where the destination is? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” That’s great and all, but if I’m meandering mindlessly and confused what good is leaving a trail if it ends up back at the beginning or worse nowhere? My most recent epiphany was one that many people have at least once in their life. Belle sang it best, “There must be more than this provincial life.”
It is safe to say that I don’t hate my life. I have a wonderful son, two amazing step kids, and a man I utterly adore. I’m a stay-at-home mom with the daily goal of maintaining stability for everyone in the house. As a parent, I’m also undertaking the job of teaching the kids the basics for self-sufficiency, learning to cook and clean, have proper manners, basically every responsibility that is required for adulting. So, my day consists of washing the dishes, cleaning the house, laundry, grocery shopping, and numerous other chores. At the end of the day, I’m tired yet proud that I made it through another day. At the same time, I subconsciously fear that all those efforts are for not. I feel like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the mountain just for it to roll back down thus repeating the task every day for eternity.
It wasn’t too long ago I was going through social media and came across one of those posts with a series of questions. The person who posted it filled out the questions and the point of the game was for you to copy and paste the text, erase the previous person’s answers, input your answers, and finally share it in your feed. There were and currently are numerous versions of this game. I came across one that asked how many things you have done in your life. As I went through the questions and read other’s answers, I realized how little I have done in my life. I had so many hopes and dreams in my life and no clear answer about if they would ever be realized. I reflected on my own daily life, the monotony of it all, and the lack of self-growth. And like a colossal bombshell it hit me. I am currently marooned in a life inundated with frivolous and mundane tasks which only perpetuates further stagnation. How was I supposed to be a role model for my kids if I’ve barely lived? How can I be dedicated to self-improvement when I have such a lack of life experience? I started feeling crushed. I was turning into mush from the hopelessness that rivaled the gravity level of Jupiter. All I could do was go to bed and cry.
After about a week of severe depression, I finally got coherent enough to begin the re-evaluation of how I’m living my life. Although I don’t hate my life, I’m also not happy. I couldn’t help but think of the movie Vacation (2015) starring Ed Helms as Russel “Rusty” Griswald and Christina Applegate as wife Debbie Griswald. Just like past vacations Rusty made plans to go to the same cabin the family had been visiting for years much to Debbie’s dismay. She was hoping for Paris. Rusty came across the annual vacation family photos and noticed the look on Debbie’s face. Each year Debbie’s expression of enthusiasm gradually converted to boredom and disappointment. I didn’t realize just how much that scene resonated with me. Only it wasn’t an annual emotion. Subconsciously, I have been feeling this daily.
I always thought that special occasions like traveling were only for the wealthy and the lucky. I never thought that I would be special enough to take those amazing adventures you see on the advertisements on TV shows. So, to see so many “average joes” like myself checking off over half of the extensive list of life events, it completely dumbfounded me. How did they do it? How was it possible?
Part 2: Coming Soon
Cultivating Elegance 