We all hear that we can’t take care of others if we can’t take care of ourselves. What does that mean? It means we implement self-care skills. Great! Um, what do we do? Well, that can be anything that helps you deal with everyday stresses, relax, build your self-esteem, whatever is needed to help you feel like yourself again. Plus, those skills can change to adjust to your needs. Self-care has been proven to help decrease depression and anxiety, lower blood pressure, even prevent sickness. There is a wide range of self-care activities that one can utilize to help get our emotions regulated and your feet firmly on the ground. So, here is the first of several parts of basic self-care skills that can assist in stabilizing ourselves so that we can take on the day.
Practice Good Hygiene
I grew up in foster care and my foster mother didn’t truly instill decent hygiene practices. So, it took me until I was an adult to realize how important regular bathing was, or how brushing my teeth daily would help me feel better. Even then, just doing them was an arduous task. Then, I discovered Bath & Body Works and became acquainted with the Sweet Pea scented products. I loved it! And I wanted to shower every day. And brushing my teeth was the cherry on top.
Then, life circumstances prevented me from continuing to invest in the wonderful smells of Bath and Body Works. After so many years, I lost the want to keep up my hygiene. Yes, its gross I know. Recently, I started to question why it was so hard for me to just get in the damn shower. I must thank my lovely 11-year-old stepdaughter Bella for helping me figure out why. And she didn’t even know she did.
She really wanted to go to the mall to spend some of her Christmas money. She dragged me into Bath and Body Works (like it was hard) and all the smells brought back that want to shower and smell good. It was even more solidified when I tested the Cherry Blossom scented lotion. I splurged a little and purchased body wash, body scrub, lotion, and body spray. Oh, yeah. Instant satisfaction. I gave myself a mini spa session the moment we got home, and I understood why I had been having so much trouble doing the simple task of showering.
That urge to shower became even stronger when I signed up for a popular gym membership. I was introduced to the showers of the lady’s locker room. They were clean, spacious, with a waterfall style shower faucet. In comparison to the shower at home, which isn’t that bad, these showers were a great example of luxury. So, there was a compounding of two good habits. The first was going to the gym and the second was getting a nice relaxing and refreshing shower.
So, why did I share this nearly TMI circumstance? For many years, I had dealt with depression, that didn’t help with self-care habits, and had been in therapy for decades. Recently, my therapist suggested I focus on my hygiene as part of my self-care coping skills. She said studies showed that the practice tended to help improve our mood and self-confidence. This applies to long-term and short-term mental health.
The whole point is if you’re having a hard day, week, month, or having long-term mental health trouble, it is recommended to put good hygiene as part of your coping skills. It’s the most basic of tasks that can have the biggest impact on your overall health both physically and mentally.
If basic hygiene is a bit difficult to maintain I’ll refer to the author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, James Clear. In his book, he suggests making a new habit “irresistible”. For me, it was obtaining the wonderful smelling products from Bath and Body Works. The added incentive of the awesome showers at the gym was quite effective. Find what works for you. It could be playing music, lighting a great smelling candle, or just telling everyone to bugger off that this is YOUR time. Block off a specific time during the day that is dedicated to getting yourself squeaky clean. Make it a daily non-negotiable on your calendar and set an alarm if you need to ensure you get in that shower.
It may seem tough at first but keep it up and the tasks will become habitual. Soon, you’ll look forward to getting that shower and notice how much your overall perspective changes for the better. Don’t underestimate the power of basic needs. They are more helpful than many people realize. These are your self-care skills. Self-care is not selfish and will most certainly give you a wonderful pick-me-up to assist in tackling that thing we call life.
Cultivating Elegance 